A work in progress. For my sister.
I’ve fallen. I’ve fallen and hit the ground. You weren’t there to catch me and now I’m broken. I feel in repairable. You made me feel comfortable and became my best friend, but when it came to the point were we should have taken the next step forward you let me go and didn’t follow. Now I’m torn and hurt. I wait to see if you will see the mistake you’ve made. To come patch the wounds that feel forever torn. But your still standing and turning around and away from the heart and life you let fall through the cracks.
i hate it i hate being the only one out of everyone i know who has not been in a relationship. i swear all my hope of finding someone who truely cares has gone out the window and into space. there is none. i will never find anyone who loves me for me. i guess this is what i get for being a fat person. its gotten to the point where i just dont want to try anymore. i have no drive at all. no base for anything to build off of. my life truely sucks right now. i watch everyone around me fall in and out of relationships and i cant even get i guy to look my way. i have been friend zoned to the lowest level and i hate it. i am to scared to tell anyone how i feel because i know no one will ever feel the same about me. i need to just give up. its a hopless cause. i dont even think loseing weight would help.how do you find the one person who is not going to care and is just gunna love you for who you are defects and all. i just want to find love.
every one tells you its the girl who put the guy in the friend zone. but that is not always the case. i am currently literally head over heels for my best friend who just happens to be a guy. when i am around him all i here about is the girls he has been txting and the girl he really really likes. i just put on a smile and try to have a good time, but it really hurts. it makes me feel like im not good enough for anyone at all. yesterday things got bad. i thought we were having a good time till slowly things started going down hill very fast. and by the end of the night we were both irritated with each other. but know i am starting to realize that maybe its not worth it to try anymore. why try to gain someones feelings when they dont ever think twice about you. i feel like it is time to just stop being so naive and just accept the fact that im not wanted. in any way. he was my best friend but know i just feel like i have become his irritating tag-a-long that he cant get rid of. so what should i do? do i leave him alone and try to move on, or do i wait it out and see what happens? though i do think it best if i just leave him alone for a while. could that be the best for both of us?
this is a pic i drew of one of my friends.
Thoughts of you and sleep are always competing but it seem like sleep always wins. But sleep is getting weaker every night and you are ground stronger.
this is how i feel when i see him. i only wish i could tackle and hug him.
my drawing i just finished
Even on my darkest days there is always a smile that takes my breath away. Every day so happy, every day so bright. There is always a ray of sunshine in my dark world of night.
— Savannah Long